To forgive someone is an act of gift-giving.Forgiveness, for me, doesn't come easy. I have to work at it, decide to do it... often against my first inclination.
Deep down most people know it is something one ought to do (if not for the other person, then for one's self.) So it is fairly common to hear people say "I forgive you" after an apology. Or during a chat with Jack, he tells you about a problem he has with Jill, and rants a bit about but at some point comes to the place where he states "oh, I forgive her, but I just don't think she should have..."
It's that "but" that tips the listener that true forgiveness has taken place.
Now,I don't mean to highlight Jack half-forgiveness... rather I want to point out how beautiful is real forgiveness.
If you are like me, when someone wrongs you, it takes awhile to want to forgive it. But eventually you get to the place where you decide to forgive them. Some time passes. And you feel like you have forgiven them, and you think you have forgiven them... but then something reminds your of the wrong, and you find your still upset.
This is only partially-accomplished forgiveness.
I think true forgiveness must involve an element of forgetting, entirely. By this definition, it probably required a power outside of one's self. For who can will their mind to forget?
So, I say forgiveness is a gift in the truest sense of the word: something supplied by an outsider. Something handed over without deserving or balance due.
And this description fits the forgiver and the one forgiven. Both receive.
Forgiveness is a gift.
4 comments:
I get the concept but doing it is so much harder. This is one of my favorite quotes, not Scripture, but good anyway.
"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold."
What are your thoughts? This is where I 'feel' like I am.
D - I see why you like the quote. Time helps with hurts, but Time alone can not cause a person to forgive. Time may be required given our fallen-ness, before we are ready to forgive.
To say some hurts go too deep..." for TIME to mend" may be true. But I'd like to make the point that there are no hurts that God, because of Christ, can not mend.
These are just thoughts off the cuff.
Matthew 18:21-35 is pretty clear about forgiving. Christ has canceled your debt and you have received forgiveness for far more than anyone on earth can commit against you. You are commanded to forgive.
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Forgetting would mean leaving out about 15 years or more of my life... pretending it didn't happen. For the time being, I believe I've worked through the bitterness and unforgiveness, but don't see how it will ever be possible to forget.
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