To forgive someone is an act of gift-giving.Forgiveness, for me, doesn't come easy. I have to work at it, decide to do it... often against my first inclination.
Deep down most people know it is something one ought to do (if not for the other person, then for one's self.) So it is fairly common to hear people say "I forgive you" after an apology. Or during a chat with Jack, he tells you about a problem he has with Jill, and rants a bit about but at some point comes to the place where he states "oh, I forgive her, but I just don't think she should have..."
It's that "but" that tips the listener that true forgiveness has taken place.
Now,I don't mean to highlight Jack half-forgiveness... rather I want to point out how beautiful is real forgiveness.
If you are like me, when someone wrongs you, it takes awhile to want to forgive it. But eventually you get to the place where you decide to forgive them. Some time passes. And you feel like you have forgiven them, and you think you have forgiven them... but then something reminds your of the wrong, and you find your still upset.
This is only partially-accomplished forgiveness.
I think true forgiveness must involve an element of forgetting, entirely. By this definition, it probably required a power outside of one's self. For who can will their mind to forget?
So, I say forgiveness is a gift in the truest sense of the word: something supplied by an outsider. Something handed over without deserving or balance due.
And this description fits the forgiver and the one forgiven. Both receive.
Forgiveness is a gift.
